I made some money, it gave me something to do, and I made a new friend but somehow I feel cheated. As it was, my hourly wage was next to nil, but there was no communication from my "supervisor," I was shorted hours, and they let me go a week before they had said would be when I would stop being an employee. (Don't get me wrong, that extra week off allowed me a lot of ski time with my parents who had the week off from work as well, so I had my cake and ate it too...).I am the most frustrated with myself. I started to get my self-worth and identity wrapped up in those job applications. Since stores weren't hiring me then that meant I wasn't good enough. They were rejecting me because they could find better. When I took the UPS job it was almost as though I was trying to snatch up a job just to show that I was capable of searching for a job and becoming employed, maybe not the best choice for making money or taking advantage of the best opportunities. Now, still without a job, I find myself stressing out about things I don't need to be worried about. This is my year off, I am having to tell myself, relax and breathe or it won't be worth it in the long run.
What I really need to do is turn this spring over to God. I am a loved child of His. I am a part of His plan. I am playing a part in what He wants accomplished in this valley this year. With time off, I have been able to be a part of peoples' lives that I wouldn't have been normally. I've been able to volunteer, hang out, and chill with people who need to be chilled with. By faith we are to walk, and I realize that I can allow God to work. If I find a job, it will be because that's where I'm needed. If I don't, then it is my responsibility to make the best use of my time for the Kingdom.
I can feel for ya. Although it's been a long long time since I've had to fill out a ton of applications. But I do remember when I first moved to seattle I wanted to be a cook at a really nice restaurant. I had the experience but I was applying right at the end of summer which is when everyone is slowing down. I couldn't get a decent job and almost took one at a Red Lobster which I didn't consider real cooking. I ended taking a job as a laborer for a construction company and the rest is history. I actually found something new that I loved and it turned out better than if I had stayed in the restaurant biz. Now the struggle is this stupid economy and people not wanting to build anymore. :) Just let opportunities happen and you'll find the way. Cheers bro!
ReplyDeleteWe understand!! Don't despair.
ReplyDelete--Kara and David